3rd Greatest Story Ever Told
Bombers
High Seas
Killing You Will Break My Heart
Another Road Song
The Other Dope Song
Wonderful Christmas

Grief and woe of Biblical proportions   (D/F/C)
Grief and woe of Biblical proportions   (D/F/C)

Kill your television, nail it to a cross  (D/A/C/G)
Start a new religion
Find the faith you've lost
Kill your television, nail it to a cross
Make it pay for all your sins before your soul is lost

Jesus was a Sony, with remote control
Moses was the cableman who climbed the outside pole
Came down with Ten Commandment
THOU SHALL NEVER WATCH
Made for TV movies
With idiotic plots
Kill your television, nail it to a cross
Make it pay for all your sins before your soul is lost

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System...
This is only a test

Noah built a sattelite dish so he could watch the flood...

Abraham awoke before dawn. He put his sandals on...
He took the funnies from the Sunday paper and he ...
WALKED ON DOWN THE HALL...
And he came to a door...
"Issac?"
"Yes, Dad..."
"God wants me to kill you!"
"Dad?"
You watch too much TV  (D)
It's gonna rot your mind  (G)
You're sitting much to close (A)
I'm sure that you'll go blind (D)
"What's the matter, Davy?"

Kill your television, nail it to a cross  (D/A/C/G)
Start a new religion; find the faith you've lost

The Apostles all came over (D/A/C/G)
Someone spiked the punch  (D/A/C/G)
Judas changed the channel  (D/A/C/G)
To watch the Brady Bunch  (D/A/D)
The Brady Bunch  (G)
The Brady Bunch  (D)
That's the way we became The Brady Bunch  (E/A…  D/A/C/G)

Day after day, wave after wave
The Bombers came over
The sky was engraved
With sunlight reflected off dogfights above
Like players ejected some fall spilling blood
Five miles above riding cold in a Boeing
Ten men all alone taste the fear that's been growing
With two engines feathered, a third oil streaming
A waste gunner down on the deck bleeding, screaming
The target below now obscured under smoke
When bombs fall away towards the city to stoke
The firestorm building to hurricane winds
Stone, glass and flesh all dissolved for the sins
And wheeling around with the altitude slipping
They stagger on home to await the next mission

All the planning fails  (F#m/D/F#M)
Time to hoist the sails (F#m/D/F#M)
We don't know where we're sailing to  (A/F#M)
The captain is in jail  (A/F#M)
The pilot hasn't got a clue  (A/F#M)
We're running with the whales  (A/F#M)
We only know the cargo hold  (A/F#M)
Is filled up with some  (D/A)
Undercover  (D/A)
High grade Potent   (D/A)
Fuck you up, Man  (D/A)
Good Jamaican bales   (F#m/D/F#M)

Two days out at sea
Been smoking constantly
No one seems to care we're lost
At least we've got this weed
As long as we stay wasted
We've got everything we need
Now I think I'll roll one up, A big fat number
Half an ounce now, Gonna get you
Spark it up Man
Mighty tasty spliff

Two weeks out from shore
Maybe even more
No one seems to be in charge
The helm has been ignored
The sails are all in tatters
Looks like we were in a war
We've emptied half the cargo hold, been smoking non-stop
Toking constant, Can't remember
Being straight Man
Time to roll some more

We've taken on some water in a fierce ocean squall  (A/F#m)
The cook has dissapeared and the cabin boy is gone  (A/F#m)
I don't think that we ate them, but you know I could be wrong  (A/F#m)
Think I'll go below again  (D)
And work on getting stoned again  (E)

Now I don't know where I am
Or where I'm supposed to be
I look out on the water and I guess I'm on the sea
Check out all the roaches, Man
Floating all 'round me
I can't believe we smoked it all
I'm very high now
Blown away now, Burnt like toast now
Wondering how
To score a little more weed

It's been great baby, we've had our share of good times (G/Em/G/Em)
All those hours together, we've had a lot of fun
Yeah, it was great baby, I'll only think about the good times that we had
But now our day is finished with the setting of the Sun

     It's gonna be so hard to kill you  (D/Em)
     It breaks my heart to take your life  (D/Em)
     I really feel that we had something special  (D/Em)
     Killing you will be so hard  (G/D)
     Killing you will break my heart (D….G/Em)

I felt the Earth move when I held you in my arms this morning
I caught a glimpse of Heaven when I looked into your eyes
But those voices in my head once again have been giving me that warning
I know erything that lives in our world eventually must die

     It's gonna be so hard to kill you...

My heart skipped a beat the first time that I saw you
With skin like silk and not a drop of blood showing on your dress
Your legs were so perfect, no bruises were visible upon you
Well Forgive me Babe, 'cause now it seems I've really made a mess

     It's gonna be so hard to kill you...

Rolling down the highway  (A/D)
Travelling the right way   (G/D)
Each mile brings me closer home to you  (A/D/A)

Flying past a police car
A streak across his Radar
Each mile brings me closer home to you

The pavement cracks  (F#m)
When you say that you don't love me (D)
So remember all the facts  (F#m)
Before you toss me in the street  (D)
I understand you caution  (F#m)
As I roll along your turnpike  (D)
But the toll that you exact is much to steep  (F#m/E)

Another road song  (A/D)
Another road song  (G/D)
Another road song  (A/D)
For you  (A)

Back out on the highway
Keep it in the left lane
Each mile brings me closer home to you
Counting down the exits
I know that we can fix it
Each mile brings me closer home to you

The pavement cracks...

I woke up stoned from the night before  (E/F#)
All I could remember was crashing on the floor  (A/B)
With my favorite record playing and the TV turned down low  (E/F#)
I was watching eye-lid movies through a sleepy cloud of smoke  (A/B)

     Where's my grass! (C#m)
     Where's my weed! (F#)
     I looked all around  (C#m)
     But I couldn't find a seed  (F#)
     I checked my pockets, I looked in my shoes  (A/E)
     It wasn't on the table, now, how'd I go and lose (C#m/B)
     The only dope I had  (A/E)
     To get me through this week   (C#m/C/B)
     If I don't smoke some everyday (A/E)
     You know I'm gonna freak (F#/B/E)

I came home that night; my bag was on the floor
Empty as a romance with a New York City whore
And out there in the yard, sitting in a cloud of smoke
My dog and all his buddys, were puffing up my dope

     Oh no! Where's my grass...

Now, maybe I was born to go through this life straight
Stranger things have happened; a sober twist of fate
Or maybe I was born, to do the opposite
So I'll just sit here in suburbia and take another hit
 

     Singing, where's my grass...

You know the days are shorter, snow is falling, stockings are stuffed  (D/A/G/D)
Christmas falls but once a year and once is too much  (G/D/A/D)
The malls are full of angry shoppers waiting in line  (D/A/G/D)
People get real nasty when it’s Christmas time  (G/D/A/D)
Ho Ho Ho  (G/D/A/D)
Ho Ho Ho  (G/D/A/D)

In the little town of Bethlaham (D)
The Son of God held out his hand  (A)
Convinced that he must count again  (D)
The presents from the Three Wise Men  (A)

The turkey’s on the table and the pies are in the window  (D/A…)
The fire’s doing nicely and the hearth is stacked with wood
The living room is strewn with toys, the kids are in pajamas
Their smiles light the room up; everybody’s feeling good

And the baby grew into a man
A man for whom God had one plan
And the cows did moo, and the cock crowed thrice
For Clovis
Clovis Christ

Well he met his fate on Cavalry
Nailed up like a Christmas tree
Good for him that he passed away So we could have this holiday

The checkout line’s not moving, the clerk is much too dumb
Everybody’s worried ‘bout the holiday to come
The prices have been jacked up on the toys your children want
And papa’s got his pink slip, so know he’s staying drunk
At the North Pole in a workshop, the presents are all stacked
Santa is slumped over dead from a heart attack
The unions drove him crazy, they never cut him slack
He never got the hang of dealing with the Japs
In a neighborhood in bridgeport some kid is lying dead
He traded his Air Jordans for a gunshot in the head
He never got to scuff them up, he never got to run
The sneakers were his present, the other kids got a gun

Oooooooooo
Have a wonderful Christmas